Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Season's Greetings
I don't know where the month of December has gone....It feels like I've been waiting since oh, October, for it to be Christmas, but then, all of the sudden, there this two week gap of time - it was just Sinterklaas...and now, it's almost Christmas - and I'm not ready!! How did this happen?? :-)
Long story short (kind of), the Christmas cards are going in the post tomorrow, but since it got so late this year, I'm not sure they will make it in time to everyone in the US.
In the meantime, here is the digital version for everyone - and rest assured, your personalized greetings and Kevin autographed versions are on the way, I promise! (Yes, he signed the Christmas Cards this year all by himself!) :-)
Long story short (kind of), the Christmas cards are going in the post tomorrow, but since it got so late this year, I'm not sure they will make it in time to everyone in the US.
In the meantime, here is the digital version for everyone - and rest assured, your personalized greetings and Kevin autographed versions are on the way, I promise! (Yes, he signed the Christmas Cards this year all by himself!) :-)
Through all the ups and downs, rough patches, etc......I am reminded how blessed I am to have freinds and family who love and support us in all they ways that they do. Thank you for being there and for being you - we appreciate it more than we can say.
If I ever forget to say it or express it as I should - I'm sorry!
A Very Merry Christmas to you all!
Love,
Sharon & Kevin
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Recent Pictures
Some photo catch up, since Mom has been a little quiet on the posting lately......
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On the 11th of November, we celebrated St. Maarten for the third year with Winnie and Lars. This year, we stayed closer to home by making the rounds with our homemade lanterns in Amstelveen, where Winnie lives. While it comes close to Halloween, we don't dress up here. However, mom couldn't resist to add his gold mickey mouse ears (Dineyland Paris 15 year anniversary edition with led lights) to compliment his gold pumpkin lantern. He got compliments and wows by almost every doorbell we rang!
These last weeks, Kevin has made real progess with his name. He can write 'Kevin' from memory now, but the Fels still needs some work. This is an early example :-). Together with his name are a butterfly and a person, which hangs on my wall behind my desk at work in a place of honor.
These last weeks, Kevin has made real progess with his name. He can write 'Kevin' from memory now, but the Fels still needs some work. This is an early example :-). Together with his name are a butterfly and a person, which hangs on my wall behind my desk at work in a place of honor.
The weekend after St. Maarten, Sinterklaas arrived by boat from Spain, and the next week it was time to dress up for school as one of the helper elves, called 'Zwarte Piet'.
Also for the third year, we carried on our tradition of celebrating Thanksgiving with the same couples. Here you can see the house, ready for guests. The renovations are pretty much done, only a light fixture here and there, and some pictures on the walls to go to make this a finished home!
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The new and improved 'Zwarte Piet' Suit, and Kevin singing traditional Dutch songs :-)
Enjoy, and hope this catches everyone up who needed a "Little Man" fix.....it might be after the Holidays before I have a chance to post again!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Where Does Money Come From?
I knew this day was coming, when we would have to sit down and have The Talk.
You know the one - about money.
For the last six months, Kev has been really aware of the concept of paying for things. He also loves to assign value (usually in cents) to things - one thousand eighty hundred million is currently a favourite number when something must be really expensive - like an inflatable boat.
I've had to explain the concept of paying for things to Kevin, maybe earlier than 'normal', becuase we get by on my single income. So, while I want to do fun and special things, I also have to explain that mommy can't "do" special every weekend, becuase well.....going to the swimming pool or amusement park or indoor jungle gym all costs money. Which was ok at first, but then over the next few months as he got his 'cents' for his piggy bank (the contents of my change purse when I got too many 5, 10 and 20 cent pieces in my wallet), he wanted to make connection between these 'cents' and what the things he liked to do cost. When it became clear that the cents I gave him had no real buying power, it was time for The Talk.
The only piggy bank he has now is a can sytle one that you can't open, so he have to wait until it's full before we take the lid off with a can opener and head to the bank. Recently, the bank where I opened a savings account for Kevin after the divorce sent Kev a piggy bank and decorating kit with a plastic stopper in the bottom.
The nice thing about this savings account is that you can take your piggy bank into the bank and put all your change into a big machine that sorts it, tells you how much you have, and deposits it directly to your savings account. No coin rolls needed, just dump the contents of the piggy bank in one go into this big machine...it's like magic to a four year old.
Kev has figured out that the plastic stopper in the bottom of the piggy bank means we can take the money out anytime, which we can't do with his old piggybank. Now he's torn between saving his money in his piggy bank so he can take it to the magic machine at the bank, and spending his 'cents' on bubbles, and the inflatable boat costing (of course) one thousand eighty hundred million cents. Tough choice, I know.......... the self decorated piggy bank though was a cool idea, and now mom has a cool memory from it all, too.
It took two days to decorate the bank. One day to draw the all the flowers and details and shapes, and then it took about 5 mins the next day to 'color' all his drawings in.....coloring in the lines is a concept that still needs some work, and you'd never know how detailed all his petals on the flowers were :-)
I think he's come really far on writing his name for a 4 year old. How does he rate, other moms?
You know the one - about money.
For the last six months, Kev has been really aware of the concept of paying for things. He also loves to assign value (usually in cents) to things - one thousand eighty hundred million is currently a favourite number when something must be really expensive - like an inflatable boat.
I've had to explain the concept of paying for things to Kevin, maybe earlier than 'normal', becuase we get by on my single income. So, while I want to do fun and special things, I also have to explain that mommy can't "do" special every weekend, becuase well.....going to the swimming pool or amusement park or indoor jungle gym all costs money. Which was ok at first, but then over the next few months as he got his 'cents' for his piggy bank (the contents of my change purse when I got too many 5, 10 and 20 cent pieces in my wallet), he wanted to make connection between these 'cents' and what the things he liked to do cost. When it became clear that the cents I gave him had no real buying power, it was time for The Talk.
The only piggy bank he has now is a can sytle one that you can't open, so he have to wait until it's full before we take the lid off with a can opener and head to the bank. Recently, the bank where I opened a savings account for Kevin after the divorce sent Kev a piggy bank and decorating kit with a plastic stopper in the bottom.
The nice thing about this savings account is that you can take your piggy bank into the bank and put all your change into a big machine that sorts it, tells you how much you have, and deposits it directly to your savings account. No coin rolls needed, just dump the contents of the piggy bank in one go into this big machine...it's like magic to a four year old.
Kev has figured out that the plastic stopper in the bottom of the piggy bank means we can take the money out anytime, which we can't do with his old piggybank. Now he's torn between saving his money in his piggy bank so he can take it to the magic machine at the bank, and spending his 'cents' on bubbles, and the inflatable boat costing (of course) one thousand eighty hundred million cents. Tough choice, I know.......... the self decorated piggy bank though was a cool idea, and now mom has a cool memory from it all, too.
It took two days to decorate the bank. One day to draw the all the flowers and details and shapes, and then it took about 5 mins the next day to 'color' all his drawings in.....coloring in the lines is a concept that still needs some work, and you'd never know how detailed all his petals on the flowers were :-)
I think he's come really far on writing his name for a 4 year old. How does he rate, other moms?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Making Brownies
This weekend, Mom was recovering from the flu, but while Little Man does his best, sympathy is a challenge to the attention span of a four year old.
So, while mom wanted to be housebound, Kev wanted to go to the petting zoo. The only activity I had in my distraction arsenal was...Making Brownies.
This was his first time to use the electric mixer, and this was also the time introduced him to the joy of getting to lick the mixer attachments afterwards.
The hard part was waiting for the brownies to bake, so while they were in the oven, we set about melting some chocolate on the stove to drizzle on the finished brownies. His concentration where chocolate is concerned is impressive! Once the brownies were cooling on the counter, we drizzled chocolate on the top, a small spoonful at a time. The end result....mmmmmm, and it provided a nice treat in all the brown bag lunches this week:
So, while mom wanted to be housebound, Kev wanted to go to the petting zoo. The only activity I had in my distraction arsenal was...Making Brownies.
This was his first time to use the electric mixer, and this was also the time introduced him to the joy of getting to lick the mixer attachments afterwards.
The hard part was waiting for the brownies to bake, so while they were in the oven, we set about melting some chocolate on the stove to drizzle on the finished brownies. His concentration where chocolate is concerned is impressive! Once the brownies were cooling on the counter, we drizzled chocolate on the top, a small spoonful at a time. The end result....mmmmmm, and it provided a nice treat in all the brown bag lunches this week:
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Oma & Vivi, Week 1 - Leiden, Den Haag and the North Sea
At the end of the first week of the Oma & Vivi visit, we decided to go palace/castle hunting. ...we made our way from Leiden, to Den Haag (The Hague) to Scheveningen (at the North Sea). Our total route of 50 kilometeres would take over one hour to drive one way, but since we stopped at each location, and took some back roads along the way, it was much longer than that.
On this trip, we went to 4 places:
1) Leiden Castle , 2) Paleis Huis Ten Bosch, 3) Noordeinde Palace, 4) Scheveningen Boulevard
1) Leiden Castle - Leiden Castle began as an artificial hill, was constructed in the 11th century (that's the 1000's!)and an wooden fortification was built on top of it. Around 1150 this wooden fortification was replaced by the present stone castle.
Archeological excavations showed that Leiden Castle was probably never used for permanent habitation and only served as a refuge for the people of Leiden and their belongings in times of peril. In 1203 and again in 1204 the castle was sieged by the Spanish and suffered considerable damage. As the town of Leiden grew around the castle it lost its military function in the beginning of the 14th century after almost 500 years in existence!
In 1651 the castle was bought by the town council of Leiden.
The castle was built on a strategic spot; in a bend of the Old Rhine river. Nowadays that river is reduced to a canal through the city of Leiden and can't be seen from the castle anymore due to all the 18th century buildings that surround the raised hill.
No matter how long I live here, it is amazing, awe-inspiring, and mind boggling to me that within 30 minutes of my house I can see something that is has existed for over 1000 years.
From there, we drove through Den Haag (and some very confusing summer time construction, which meant my GPS was no help at all!) and arrived at 2) Paleis Huis Ten Bosch - The Paleis used to be more accessible, but since the attack on the Royal Family on Queen's Day this year, it was no longer possible to get anywhere near the gates for a photo. We waled parallel for 5-10 minutes in a nearby wood, but there was no way to get close enough to take a picture, and while we could see it (much like this) from where we parked, there was a big closed gate now, and the two armed policeman guarding the gates and noting my license plate didn't seem like they were willing to pose for a photo op, so I'm going to have to settle for a photo I found in my search on the net, taken pre attack:
After all the excitement of the fireworks, pizza and being up way past bedtime, it was time to end the day on a good note.....with lots of kisses from Oma (who somehow still had enough lipstick on to leave her mark :-)
On this trip, we went to 4 places:
1) Leiden Castle , 2) Paleis Huis Ten Bosch, 3) Noordeinde Palace, 4) Scheveningen Boulevard
1) Leiden Castle - Leiden Castle began as an artificial hill, was constructed in the 11th century (that's the 1000's!)and an wooden fortification was built on top of it. Around 1150 this wooden fortification was replaced by the present stone castle.
Archeological excavations showed that Leiden Castle was probably never used for permanent habitation and only served as a refuge for the people of Leiden and their belongings in times of peril. In 1203 and again in 1204 the castle was sieged by the Spanish and suffered considerable damage. As the town of Leiden grew around the castle it lost its military function in the beginning of the 14th century after almost 500 years in existence!
In 1651 the castle was bought by the town council of Leiden.
The castle was built on a strategic spot; in a bend of the Old Rhine river. Nowadays that river is reduced to a canal through the city of Leiden and can't be seen from the castle anymore due to all the 18th century buildings that surround the raised hill.
No matter how long I live here, it is amazing, awe-inspiring, and mind boggling to me that within 30 minutes of my house I can see something that is has existed for over 1000 years.
From there, we drove through Den Haag (and some very confusing summer time construction, which meant my GPS was no help at all!) and arrived at 2) Paleis Huis Ten Bosch - The Paleis used to be more accessible, but since the attack on the Royal Family on Queen's Day this year, it was no longer possible to get anywhere near the gates for a photo. We waled parallel for 5-10 minutes in a nearby wood, but there was no way to get close enough to take a picture, and while we could see it (much like this) from where we parked, there was a big closed gate now, and the two armed policeman guarding the gates and noting my license plate didn't seem like they were willing to pose for a photo op, so I'm going to have to settle for a photo I found in my search on the net, taken pre attack:
The Palace dates back to the 1600's. It has only been used again as a Royal residence since 1980, when Queen Beatrix, the current Queen, made it her residence. Before that, it had fallen into disrepair since the the Germans plan to demolish it failed in 1943. The renovations to what is seen today began in 1977.
While we were in Den Haag, I took mom and viv to 3) Noordeinde Palace- in the center of Den Haag. The oldest section of the palace dates from before 1533. In 1795, it became property of the state, as it is still is today. It has been used as the offical royal residence since 1817, except during the German invasion during WWII in 1940.
Right aross from the palace, there is a square with artwork, and various statues and memorials. One of the artworks in particular caught Vivian's eye.....here is it from the front, and then from the back..it made for an interesting photo!
From the center of Den Haag, we drove about 20 minutes to get to the North Sea and the seaside town of Scheveningen to watch the firework on the along the boulevard (totally by accident - every Friday in summer they do fireworks - who knew?!) So, that how we ended up sitting outside on the curb, at the Boulevard, sharing a pizza, watching the sunset and eating pizza on Friday night.
After all the excitement of the fireworks, pizza and being up way past bedtime, it was time to end the day on a good note.....with lots of kisses from Oma (who somehow still had enough lipstick on to leave her mark :-)
What a great end to the week!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
This vacation made possible by........
After 8 years with the same company, I made a move early last year to a software company that was setting up their European HQ in Amsterdam. It's been a crazy ride so far, and amazing to me that before the appt was made for the first interview, I'd never heard of the product, technology or really even the possibility to do what my current company does.
On Mom's recent visit, she didn't even have to bring her laptop...and without using webmail or any of the usual(crappy)travel applications, she was able to have full access to her computer and check up on mails, do invoicing, and leave work notes for my dad every other day, on average, during her visit.
So, without naming names, here's a shout out to the cool company I get to work for, and for helping to make it possible for my mom to get away from her own business for two weeks to come visit me and Little Man...without having a two week backlog when she came home!
Scary stuff, technology....even Mom gets how to use this!!.... Where do I work? Well, I call this photo LogMomIn. You figure it out from there ;-)
On Mom's recent visit, she didn't even have to bring her laptop...and without using webmail or any of the usual(crappy)travel applications, she was able to have full access to her computer and check up on mails, do invoicing, and leave work notes for my dad every other day, on average, during her visit.
So, without naming names, here's a shout out to the cool company I get to work for, and for helping to make it possible for my mom to get away from her own business for two weeks to come visit me and Little Man...without having a two week backlog when she came home!
Scary stuff, technology....even Mom gets how to use this!!.... Where do I work? Well, I call this photo LogMomIn. You figure it out from there ;-)
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Flower Auction and Artis Zoo
One of the highlights of the first week of 'Oma & Vivi's visit' was our Wednesday trip to the Dutch Flower Auction in Aalsmeer followed by a visit to the Amsterdam Zoo, Artis.We got up at 4.30 on Wednesday morning to be at the flower auction by 6am. Supposedly, wedensday is a 'slow' day for the auction, meaning that there is a lower quantity of flowers to be auctioned that day, but what we saw was still incredible! Rows and Rows of flowers. It takes a couple of hours to stroll around even the main areas though, according the website of the city of Aalsmeer :
'Every day Bloemenveiling Aalsmeer sets the world price for flowers and plants. Each day, 19 million flowers and two million plants are sold through 13 clocks at 'Bloemenveiling Aalsmeer'. It takes place within an area of almost one million m2 -This means that Bloemenveiling Aalsmeer has the largest trade building in the entire world! You can view the city of Aalsmeer website here: http://www.aalsmeer.nl/00004.asp
By 8am we had seen several of the auction clocks, walked a fair distance overall, and needed some caffenine to think about what to do with the rest of the day, which was really only just getting started!
From Aalsmeer, we drove an indoor route to Amsterdam, where I bought a public transport card. We parked at my office in Amsterdam, so we could catch the tram to the Amsterdam zoo. Kevin protested heaviliy when we arrived at the two after only 2 stops - he wanted to stay and ride the tram rather than visit the zoo. With the the promise of seeing the big turtle, we started the walk to the zoo entrance.
I've posted about Artis before, so this time I'll just stick to the photo highlights of the visit. 
A special mention on the photo of Mommy and Oma - this one taken by Little Man on 'his' camera that he got for his birthday!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
How We Spent Our Summer Vacation
For Kevin, this is the last week of summer vacation. School starts here the 16th, and the last two weeks we had our 'vacation'. I took off the full two weeks (Love, Love, LOVE European vacation allowances!) while my mother and Vivan were here.
The next posts will be all about the things we've seen and done in the past weeks...Visiting castles, amusement parks, riding bikes and taking public transport (always a hit for the little ones, not so much for control/planning freak me), lots of together time on the patio on the water, and above all, being a family and making the new house a home.
Posts and Pics to follow, but for now.....yes, we're still here!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
School's Out For The Summer
For something called group 0, it still feels like a milestone of some kind...Little Man has completed group 0! For the next 6 weeks, it's summer vacation here until he starts 'group 1' on the 16th of August.
As part of the end of school, Kevin received his first 'report card'...what he does well, what needs to be improved, etc. For this first report, there were no real grades given in numbers, as it was more of an individual assesement on his first few months in the group. I think the number scoring/grading comes into play as of group 3.
The main difference in grading between here and the US is that here there is a number system from 1-10. Bascially, no-one ever gets a 10 awarded by a teacher/professor...so really it's a scale of 1-9. 6 is passing (barely), 7 is a normal, respectable grade, 8 is very good and 9 is excellent (and rare).
So, without further ado, here is the English translation of his first report card, and the images of the original Dutch if anyone wants to check Mommy's translation skills:
Report of Kevin Fels
working development
He enjoys everything in the classroom to see and do. He can not yet concentrate for long periods on arts and crafts, but he does focus and concentrate on completing puzzles. In the listening circle he has some trouble to listen for a long time and focus, but he finds it very pleasant to take part.
Social-emotional development
Kevin likes to play and talk with the children in the class. He has become quickly accustomed to the group. Kevin has found his spot within the group dynamic. He is also good at standing up for himself.
Motor skills
He does well with joining in the tumble and gym lessons. He moves well and is always in the mood to play outside, which he enjoys very much.
Creative skills
He is willing to work on worksheets and participate in organized activities, but he has a short attention span. He prefers to play freely without structure.
Comments
He is comfortable in his skin, and has already found his place in the group.
Have fun in Group 1 next year and a happy summer holiday!
Teacher Anke and Teacher Bram
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Terrible Three's (and Four's)
The last post was in February? Where does the time go?
When catching up on my blog reading, I came across a post from Holly about "the defiant child". I went to type a reply and realized there was a blog post of my own in there to mine rather than a comment on someone else's ....Sorry Holly!!
(but I love the wordle - had to do one for Little Man's Blog, too!)
I do remember that as I got older I dared more to "back talk" my mom, but smart aleck comments (and ok, a petty need to have the last word) were more my style than the outright rudeness of 'shut up' 'I hate you', etc. I was still pretty scared of making my mom mad and earning one of her signature glares (which she comes by honestly...the nana glares are the worst!)well into my teens. I also remember hearing (on more than one occassion)my mother's wish that someday I would have a child 'just like me'. I used to laugh and reply that I was never going to have kids, so there! hahahaha.......fast forward to the end of 2008.
Kevin is 3.5, and while I think he's a pretty cool and well adjusted kid overall, he's developed the habit of having to have the last word for everything...If I'm upset, he tells me he's more upset, he says 'no' when asked to do things (or suddendly develops hearing problems), he turns his back when you talk to him, the whole nine yards. Time outs are more of a fight to get him to sit for than the original 'fight', and just when I think the techniques you read about in all the parenting books are going to help me win the war, Little Man finds the Achilles' Heel: "I don't want to live with you anymore. It's no fun here. I like it with Papa (dad) much more. I want to live with papa."
It lacks the short punch of "I don't love you", but for all it's wordiness, it hurts that much more...there seems to be so much consideration behind the word choice. Direct Hit, Battleship Sunk, Checkmate......
The first time he dropped this wordy bombshell, I went ballistic (exactly what you aren't supposed to do, thank you What to expect: The First Four Years) and sent him to bed. The second time, I ignored him completely ('look, a raincloud! Isn't that exiciting') which only meant he felt the need to repeat it, at a progressively louder volume, much like American tourists in a foreign country asking for directions (but I digress..)
The last time he said it, was at the end of a week of business travel, not having seen Little Man for almost a week, coming back to fight with kitchen contractors, bank mix ups, and a full week of work to complete in one working day, rushing home Friday night to collect Little Man, and, upon waking the following morning looking forward to a 'Mommy day', having the following conversation:
'Good Morning Little Man'
mumble
'Shall we go downstairs and have breakfast'?
'I want cookies'
'Cookies aren't for breakfast. You want cereal or toast?'
'I can eat cookies with Papa. I don't want to stay with you, I want to go and live with Papa'
And that was the moment I had a mini meltdown. All the phone conversations with my mom over the last months (you know he doesn't mean it), went right out the window. I put my hands in my head and felt tears rolling down my face. What was I supposed to say? Should I just give up and let him move in with Dad?
The change in Kevin was incredible. He rushed to find a Kleenex, wiped my cheek, told me not to cry, and then said 'I Love you mommy, you don't have to cry'. I thought, this might be my chance. I sat with him on my lap and told him I did have to cry, becuase sometimes words hurt. hurt words hurt just as much as falling down. He thought about this, looked at my knee and asked if I needed a spiderman band-aid? I then said that when you hurt with words, a spiderman band-aid doesn't help, because it's inside that hurts. Again the look......'I don't want mommy to hurt'.
I gave him a hug and told him that it hurt to hear he doesn't like it with me, becuase I like being with him very much, and I would be very sad if he didn't want to stay with me anymore. Then, we agreed that it's ok to love both mom and dad, and stay at both mom and dad's house. We were reading a story later when he said 'I love you mommy'...and suddenly things felt right again. What a crazy power the little ones have!
I won't say he's cured completely, but since that day he hasn't again said that he doesn't like it with me. I'll take the occasional 'no' any day.
I'll feel blessed if this one of those lessons he learns early in life - that words can hurt. And I hope my mom didn't really mean it when she wished a child just like me on me....was I really that bad?
When catching up on my blog reading, I came across a post from Holly about "the defiant child". I went to type a reply and realized there was a blog post of my own in there to mine rather than a comment on someone else's ....Sorry Holly!!
(but I love the wordle - had to do one for Little Man's Blog, too!)
I do remember that as I got older I dared more to "back talk" my mom, but smart aleck comments (and ok, a petty need to have the last word) were more my style than the outright rudeness of 'shut up' 'I hate you', etc. I was still pretty scared of making my mom mad and earning one of her signature glares (which she comes by honestly...the nana glares are the worst!)well into my teens. I also remember hearing (on more than one occassion)my mother's wish that someday I would have a child 'just like me'. I used to laugh and reply that I was never going to have kids, so there! hahahaha.......fast forward to the end of 2008.
Kevin is 3.5, and while I think he's a pretty cool and well adjusted kid overall, he's developed the habit of having to have the last word for everything...If I'm upset, he tells me he's more upset, he says 'no' when asked to do things (or suddendly develops hearing problems), he turns his back when you talk to him, the whole nine yards. Time outs are more of a fight to get him to sit for than the original 'fight', and just when I think the techniques you read about in all the parenting books are going to help me win the war, Little Man finds the Achilles' Heel: "I don't want to live with you anymore. It's no fun here. I like it with Papa (dad) much more. I want to live with papa."
It lacks the short punch of "I don't love you", but for all it's wordiness, it hurts that much more...there seems to be so much consideration behind the word choice. Direct Hit, Battleship Sunk, Checkmate......
The first time he dropped this wordy bombshell, I went ballistic (exactly what you aren't supposed to do, thank you What to expect: The First Four Years) and sent him to bed. The second time, I ignored him completely ('look, a raincloud! Isn't that exiciting') which only meant he felt the need to repeat it, at a progressively louder volume, much like American tourists in a foreign country asking for directions (but I digress..)
The last time he said it, was at the end of a week of business travel, not having seen Little Man for almost a week, coming back to fight with kitchen contractors, bank mix ups, and a full week of work to complete in one working day, rushing home Friday night to collect Little Man, and, upon waking the following morning looking forward to a 'Mommy day', having the following conversation:
'Good Morning Little Man'
mumble
'Shall we go downstairs and have breakfast'?
'I want cookies'
'Cookies aren't for breakfast. You want cereal or toast?'
'I can eat cookies with Papa. I don't want to stay with you, I want to go and live with Papa'
And that was the moment I had a mini meltdown. All the phone conversations with my mom over the last months (you know he doesn't mean it), went right out the window. I put my hands in my head and felt tears rolling down my face. What was I supposed to say? Should I just give up and let him move in with Dad?
The change in Kevin was incredible. He rushed to find a Kleenex, wiped my cheek, told me not to cry, and then said 'I Love you mommy, you don't have to cry'. I thought, this might be my chance. I sat with him on my lap and told him I did have to cry, becuase sometimes words hurt. hurt words hurt just as much as falling down. He thought about this, looked at my knee and asked if I needed a spiderman band-aid? I then said that when you hurt with words, a spiderman band-aid doesn't help, because it's inside that hurts. Again the look......'I don't want mommy to hurt'.
I gave him a hug and told him that it hurt to hear he doesn't like it with me, becuase I like being with him very much, and I would be very sad if he didn't want to stay with me anymore. Then, we agreed that it's ok to love both mom and dad, and stay at both mom and dad's house. We were reading a story later when he said 'I love you mommy'...and suddenly things felt right again. What a crazy power the little ones have!
I won't say he's cured completely, but since that day he hasn't again said that he doesn't like it with me. I'll take the occasional 'no' any day.
I'll feel blessed if this one of those lessons he learns early in life - that words can hurt. And I hope my mom didn't really mean it when she wished a child just like me on me....was I really that bad?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Flat Stanley's Adventures in Nederland part 2
Celebrations and Sinterklaas
Starting from November 15th, Sinterklaas arrived in The Netherlands. The Sinterklaas feast celebrates the birthday of Saint Nicholas (280-342), patron saint of children.
Sinterklaas has a long red cape, wears a white bishop's dress and red mitre (bishop's hat), and holds a crosier, a long gold coloured staff with a fancy curled top. He carries a big book that tells whether each individual child has been good or naughty in the past year. He traditionally rides a white horse.
"Zwarte Piet," Sinterklaas' helping hand Black Pete. Their black skin may refer either to their Moorish background, or to the job of chimneysweep, an option is corroborated by their clothes, reminiscent of an Italian chimneysweep's costume and Pete's rooftop occupation. Sinterklaas and his Black Petes usually carry a bag, which contains candy for nice children and a "roe," a bunch of willow branches used to spank naughty children — in actuality a chimneysweep's broom. The Zwarte Pieten toss candy around.
Sinterklaas traditionally arrives each year in November - this year it was Saturday the 15th in the town of Almere - by steamboat from Spain. He is then paraded through the streets, welcomed by cheering and singing children. His Zwarte Piet assistants throw candy and small, round, ginger bread-like cookies, either "kruidnoten" or "pepernoten," into the crowd. The children welcome him by singing traditional Sinterklaas songs. Sinterklaas also visits schools, hospitals and shopping centres. After this arrival all towns with a dock have their own "intocht van Sinterklaas" (arrival of Sinterklaas). Local arrivals usually take place on Sunday, the day after he arrives in the Netherlands. In places a boat cannot reach, Sinterklaas arrives by train, bus, horse, or even carriage.
Traditionally, in the weeks between his arrival and December 5, before going to bed children put their shoes next to the central heating, with a carrot or some hay in it and a bowl of water "for Sinterklaas's horse," and sing a Sinterklaas song; the next day they will find some candy or a small present in their shoes, thrown down the chimney by a Zwarte Piet or Sinterklaas himself. Black Pete enters the house through the chimney. In The Netherlands adults started to give each other presents on the evening of the 5th; then older children were included and today in these countries sometimes even the youngest on the evening of December 5 (Saint Nicholas' eve), known as Sinterklaasavond.
After the singing of traditional Sinterklaas songs, there will be a loud knock on the door or the window, and a sack full of presents is found on the doorstep, or next to the chimney. Presents are often accompanied by a simple poem, saying something about the child or with a hint to the nature of the present.
During the time between the 15th and the 5th, Kevin and Flat Stanley attended parties in Nieuwegein (where mom's first dutch apartment was), at preschool, at his 'gastouder' Anky's house and finally on the evening of December 5th, Kevin celebrated with both his parents together at his father's house. Kevin dressed up at School as a 'Zwarte Piet' and at the party in Nieuwegein, he made his own "Zwarte Piet" hat and got to shake the hand of Sinterklaas!
Between Sinterklaas and Christmas - Kinderboederij and the Speelkasteel
Shortly after Sinterklaas, but before the real build-up to Christmas began, we took advantage of an ok day weather wise to go to the Kinderboderij (children's farm) in Hoofddorp. He had a lot of fun seeing the sheep, chicken and rabbits, and Stanley and Kevin even 'rode' on the play tractor at the end of the visit.
The children's farms are sort of like a petting zoo, but they are run as a real farm, on land donated by the city or a private individual, and run usually by volunteers on donations and sponsors. Entrance is free every day between 10 am and 4 or 4.30. We try to go at least 2 times a month. Our favourite ones is in Nieuw Vennep because it has a much better petting area for the rabbits, gerbils and hamsters. Kevin calls it the 'big one' :-). We also visit together with Papa one in Hoofddorp frequently, which is not too far from where papa lives (also in Hoofddorp).
Also in Hoofddorp is a large indoor playground and climbing castle. We've blogged about it before (most recently with Winne & Lars), and the speelkasteel will be where Kevin's 4th Birthday party will be this year. Kevin loves to ride the motorcycles and play air-hockey, and Stanley was his cheerleader at our trip before we went back to the US.
We hope that Stanley had as fun fun during his adventures as we did! We look forward to hearing from Vivian where he's off to next!
Didi Bear and Kevin
Starting from November 15th, Sinterklaas arrived in The Netherlands. The Sinterklaas feast celebrates the birthday of Saint Nicholas (280-342), patron saint of children.
Sinterklaas has a long red cape, wears a white bishop's dress and red mitre (bishop's hat), and holds a crosier, a long gold coloured staff with a fancy curled top. He carries a big book that tells whether each individual child has been good or naughty in the past year. He traditionally rides a white horse.
"Zwarte Piet," Sinterklaas' helping hand Black Pete. Their black skin may refer either to their Moorish background, or to the job of chimneysweep, an option is corroborated by their clothes, reminiscent of an Italian chimneysweep's costume and Pete's rooftop occupation. Sinterklaas and his Black Petes usually carry a bag, which contains candy for nice children and a "roe," a bunch of willow branches used to spank naughty children — in actuality a chimneysweep's broom. The Zwarte Pieten toss candy around.
Sinterklaas traditionally arrives each year in November - this year it was Saturday the 15th in the town of Almere - by steamboat from Spain. He is then paraded through the streets, welcomed by cheering and singing children. His Zwarte Piet assistants throw candy and small, round, ginger bread-like cookies, either "kruidnoten" or "pepernoten," into the crowd. The children welcome him by singing traditional Sinterklaas songs. Sinterklaas also visits schools, hospitals and shopping centres. After this arrival all towns with a dock have their own "intocht van Sinterklaas" (arrival of Sinterklaas). Local arrivals usually take place on Sunday, the day after he arrives in the Netherlands. In places a boat cannot reach, Sinterklaas arrives by train, bus, horse, or even carriage.
Traditionally, in the weeks between his arrival and December 5, before going to bed children put their shoes next to the central heating, with a carrot or some hay in it and a bowl of water "for Sinterklaas's horse," and sing a Sinterklaas song; the next day they will find some candy or a small present in their shoes, thrown down the chimney by a Zwarte Piet or Sinterklaas himself. Black Pete enters the house through the chimney. In The Netherlands adults started to give each other presents on the evening of the 5th; then older children were included and today in these countries sometimes even the youngest on the evening of December 5 (Saint Nicholas' eve), known as Sinterklaasavond.
After the singing of traditional Sinterklaas songs, there will be a loud knock on the door or the window, and a sack full of presents is found on the doorstep, or next to the chimney. Presents are often accompanied by a simple poem, saying something about the child or with a hint to the nature of the present.
During the time between the 15th and the 5th, Kevin and Flat Stanley attended parties in Nieuwegein (where mom's first dutch apartment was), at preschool, at his 'gastouder' Anky's house and finally on the evening of December 5th, Kevin celebrated with both his parents together at his father's house. Kevin dressed up at School as a 'Zwarte Piet' and at the party in Nieuwegein, he made his own "Zwarte Piet" hat and got to shake the hand of Sinterklaas!
Between Sinterklaas and Christmas - Kinderboederij and the Speelkasteel
Shortly after Sinterklaas, but before the real build-up to Christmas began, we took advantage of an ok day weather wise to go to the Kinderboderij (children's farm) in Hoofddorp. He had a lot of fun seeing the sheep, chicken and rabbits, and Stanley and Kevin even 'rode' on the play tractor at the end of the visit.
The children's farms are sort of like a petting zoo, but they are run as a real farm, on land donated by the city or a private individual, and run usually by volunteers on donations and sponsors. Entrance is free every day between 10 am and 4 or 4.30. We try to go at least 2 times a month. Our favourite ones is in Nieuw Vennep because it has a much better petting area for the rabbits, gerbils and hamsters. Kevin calls it the 'big one' :-). We also visit together with Papa one in Hoofddorp frequently, which is not too far from where papa lives (also in Hoofddorp).
Also in Hoofddorp is a large indoor playground and climbing castle. We've blogged about it before (most recently with Winne & Lars), and the speelkasteel will be where Kevin's 4th Birthday party will be this year. Kevin loves to ride the motorcycles and play air-hockey, and Stanley was his cheerleader at our trip before we went back to the US.
We hope that Stanley had as fun fun during his adventures as we did! We look forward to hearing from Vivian where he's off to next!
Didi Bear and Kevin
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